


Snow Bird

by Shadowpuff



Series: 30 Day Kara Challenge [2]
Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Gen, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Kara Danvers Has PTSD, Kara Danvers Needs a Hug, Kaznia, Lena Luthor Knows Kara Danvers Is Supergirl, Lex Luthor Being an Asshole, Lifestyle Change, Minor Character Death, No beta- we die like men, Red Daughter's Memories, Reference to RedK Kara, and is ok with it, split-personality, still friends
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-10
Updated: 2020-03-10
Packaged: 2021-03-01 02:42:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,154
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23098039
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shadowpuff/pseuds/Shadowpuff
Summary: Prompt: How have you changed in the last 2 yearsSummary: Kara remembers being Red Daughter. She remembers everything. Not as an echo, a dream she half remembers, but as clearly as what she had for breakfast.
Relationships: Alex Danvers & Kara Danvers, Kara Danvers & Kate Kane, Kara Danvers & Lena Luthor
Series: 30 Day Kara Challenge [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1659118
Comments: 8
Kudos: 88





	Snow Bird

**Author's Note:**

> Series: 30 Day Kara Challenge  
> Title: Snow Bird  
> Fandom: Supergirl (2015)  
> Rating: T  
> Parings: Season 5 Cannon  
> Characters: Kara  
> Background: Set after Season 4  
> Prompt: How have you changed in the last 2 years  
> Summary: Kara remembers being Red Daughter. She remembers everything. Not as an echo, a dream she half remembers, but as clearly as what she had for breakfast.  
> Note* This is wish fulfillment. How I wanted season 5 to go instead of the BetrayedLena route they took.  
> Alex (Italics)= Lex  
> Alex (Normal)= Danvers  
> “BLA BLA BLA”(Italics)- Kaznian  
> “BLA BLA BLA”(Normal) – English  
> “BLA BLA BLA” (Bold)– Kazian accent in English  
> Disclaimer: I don’t own Supergirl

She packs up he- Red Da- Linda’s apartment alone. Alex and the others offered to help her, but she refused. She didn’t want people going through her th- Linda’s things. She remembers buying everything, arranging everything, making this little corner that no one knew about…

Not even _Ale_ \- Lex.

Kara takes a deep breath as she tapes the box, standing up to move to the dresser. She picks up one of the wigs and puts it on, muscle memory helping out-

She rips it off, tossing it in an empty box. Her stomach growls and she has to force herself to order something to eat. In Kaznia then had regulated her food intake religiously. She wasn’t sure if it was because they didn’t realize how much she actually needed to eat or if _Alex_ told them to do it-

It had taken almost everything she had not to throw her fridge out a window after coming back from Shelley Island- to force herself not to be disgusted by the amount of food was inside for but one person.

She struggles with eating, too little and she becomes hypoglycaemic, too much and she ends up puking into the nearest thing.

So far she was lucky- no one has noticed any difference in her. She should thank Ale- Lex for that- teaching her to blend into the crowd- to be unassuming. But the mere thought of thinking of Lex Luthor in a good light-

She hates him

But she also loves him.

He was her _Alex_ \- he was good at it, knowing how to pretend to be whatever he wanted- speaking with such conviction that you are just so sure he’s telling the truth.

Kara/Linda hates thinking about _Alex._

00000

Her apartment had never been as organized and clean as it has been the last month. Everything has a place and even as she integrates her- Linda’s things into her apartment things stay neat.

Anything she couldn’t fit into her apartment is donated. She has to stop herself from donating almost everything she owns- having gotten used to only having a bed and a small table. She does get rid of a few things- objects and tickets that fill up space and have no meaning behind them.

She keeps the thing others had given her over the years- it’s both more and less then she expected. She had forgotten how many things she’s gotten as presents or just cause. Jet, her apartment feels empty…

She fills the spaces with her paintings- of snow, trees, Kaznia, Mikhail-

She killed people. The AmerTek workers- innocent people that paid for Lex’s manipulations. But, at the same time, it’s a wakeup call… A reminder that those were not the first people she’s ever killed.

The Fort Rozz Guard.

Non.

Rhea.

Dozens of Daxamites.

Reign.

She likes pretending- surprises people haven’t called her out on her lies. Maybe it was because none of those people were human- that they were aliens. It- she was hypocritical. 

00000

She wears a wig for a week before cutting her hair in the style of Linda’s preferred wig. She can’t look at her old hair anymore, and Alex, her sister, flinches when she wears the wig. The media goes in a frenzy after her first appearance with cut hair- reporters desperate to track down who did it for her.

Fans begging to get a lock of the hair. Some people even lie to say they have some and some selling it on the internet for thousands- Its disgusting. They don’t know she burned it all. She’s had enough clones and people using her DNA for their own means-

Had this been Krypton she would have sued them all for misuse of her genetics.

She almost goes to Argo-

“Just for a few weeks,” Kara tells Alex and Lena, not looking at the surprised looks on their faces.

“You can’t be serious Kara. I never thought you would run away,” Lena said, putting her hand over the suitcase to stop Kara from putting even move things inside.

“I’m not running-” Kara started.

“It really feels like your running,” Alex said, coming to stand next to Lena.

“The media is still wary of me- even worse than the time I was infected with Red Kryptonite. This is just to wait for everything to cool down,” Kara said as she placed her things down next to her bag.

“Except no one is going to see it like that,” Lena said, picking up Kara’s things to put them away.

“I really don’t care,” Kara said, taking her things from Lena’s arms, “I need to make sure everyone’s ok. Lex, all because he hated _my cousin, tried to kill everyone on Argo. Men, Woman, and children that don’t even know he exists. His xenophobic feeling towards everything Kryptonian…all because of his ego_.”

Linda hated America. She assumed things about the people, the culture much like Lex did Kryptonians. Kara was surprised Lex didn’t poison Linda’s view of Krypton.

“Kara?” Alex said wearily and Kara turned to the two women.

“ _What?_ ” Kara said, only to realize she wasn’t speaking English, “ **Sorry** -” Kara cleared her throat, “Sorry. That happens sometimes.”

She slips into Kaznian when she was angry. When she thought about Lex.

“You’re trying to run from yourself Kara,” Lena told her and Kara looked away- she had hoped to keep the secret a bit longer.

Kara dropped on her bed, her eyes landing on this little figure, a white bird, “Sometimes- sometimes I wake up and I don’t know who I am…my thoughts are in Kaznian and when I fly home at night… some days I only realize where I’m going once I’m over the Ocean… I- I … **I did not even have a name. I was not a person- I was a weapon- a tool… he said such pretty things and I believed him…”**

Tears ran down Kara’s face as she covered it with her hands. The two women came to sit on either side of her, squeezing her between them.

“We’re here Kara,” Alex said, pressing her lips to Kara’s head.

“And we are not going anywhere,” Lena said.

She wished she could believe them.

0000

“…distilled down to a computer graphic,” Lex’s voice said behind her and she spun around. She watched his lips move, but no sound reached her ears except the waves as her blood boiled

“ _You,_ ” Kara said and she could see the surprise on his face.

“ _Red Daughter,”_ Lex said and winked at her-

SLAP-

CRACK

Kara looked at him on the ground, holding his broken jaw. He looked at her with hate and disgust.

“ **My name is Kara Zor-El- Kara Danvers- You are nothing to me…** Lex,” Kara said ready to kill him when the Monitor stopped her.

“Everyone has their part to play- even Lex Luthor,” the Monitor said.

“You did this,” Kara asked in horror as tears gather in her eyes, “You brought back that… poisons snake back?”

“His destiny was unfulfilled,” the Monitor said and Kara was sure if Lex could laugh he would, “Lex Luthor still has an important role to play-”

SMACK

Kara pulled her fist back after punching the Monitor in the face, throwing the man to the ground.

“ **You will regret it. He will betray you. All he cares for is himself and being powerful without equal…”** Kara warns him, “I don’t trust you… I might be the Paragon of Hope, but hear me- I am not the Paragon of Mercy- Not anymore.”

Kara spun around and stomped off, wishing she could talk to Lena or Alex, but they were busy with the other people from Earth 38. She ended up in the cafeteria, hands shaking and she tried to contain her anger.

“That was impressive,” Kate’s voice came and Kara realized it was a welcomed sound, “I’m going to take it you really don’t like him.”

“I was cloned and she lost her memories. Lex found her and- and twisted her into his puppet- his play thing. She died in my arms and she was reabsorbed into my body- I remember everything,” Kara said without looking at the other woman.

“Did he- did he touch you-” Kate asked hesitantly.

“No,” Kara said thankfully, “He wouldn’t ‘sully’ himself by touching a Kryptonian.”

Kara turned around to look at this woman, half surprised by the look of righteous anger on her face. It was nice, knowing she had another person on her side. Another person angry on her behalf.

“Want to get out of here?” Kate asked, holding up a rift generator.

“I don’t trust the Monitor or anything he says,” Kara tells her friend.

“Then don’t, but trust me,” Kate told her, but Kara shook her head.

“I’m not the same person I was last year Kate- I’m never going to be that person again. I’ve killed. I’ve lied. I’ve betrayed people. I’m not a good person- he poisoned me- everything I am,” Kara told the woman.

Kate walked up to her, looking Kara in the eyes. She didn’t know what the human woman was looking for, but she must have found it because she smiled.

“I knew something was different the minute I saw you again, and I still trusted you- still trust you. Maybe you’ve changed, but your core- your need to help, your hope, your belief in others- it’s still there, still you,” Kate smiled, “And I’m pretty sure I’m not the first person to tell you that.”

“No. My sister Alex and my best friend Lena said the same,” Kara said.

“Do you trust them?” Kate asked.

“Yes. I trust them. I love them. I would do anything for them,” Kara said.

“And they’ve told you you’re a good person?” Kate asked again.

“Yes- but… seeing him again, all of that just rushing back… I felt- I felt like I was back at the beginning,” Kara said, leaning against the table, “I want to kill him.”

“Do you want me to stop you?” Kate asked.

Kara smile sadly, “You wouldn’t be able to.”

“You’d be surprised,” Kate said.

Kara stared at the woman. Alex and Lena- they love her too much, just as she loves them too much.

“Promise me- Because you’re the only person who would- promise me if I go evil- if I kill… you’ll stop me?” Kara asked.

“I promise,” Kate said, putting her hand on Kara’s arm.

“Thank you,” Kara said, laying her hand on Kate’s, “I’ll come with you. And when we get back I have to give you something that could help.”

“What do you mean?” Kate asked as she got ready to go.

“It’s called Kryptonite, it weakens me- just don’t tell Lena or Alex,” Kara said as she replayed her glasses.

“They don’t have any?” Kate asked as she pressed the button on the rift generator.

“They do. They just wouldn’t use it- I was evil once before… I almost killed Alex and instead of trying to stop me, she talked to me,” Kara said as they stepped through the portal.

“You talk to people,” Kate reminded her.

“I’m a bit harder to kill- which is my point,” Kara told her as they neared the door, “Stop me first, then try to reason with me.”

“Got it,” Kate said and knocked on the door.

“By the way. I do trust you,” Kara said and the two smiled at one another.

00000

It was the most satisfying thing ever to watch Lena punch Lex and then mock him and his attempt at driving a wedge between her and Kara. Maybe it would have worked- his plan, if Kara hadn’t blurted out the truth the night Lex died-

Lex was in charge of the DEO and she had to see him every day. He whispers words in Kaznian at her. He brings up memories of their time together. Some days she forgets herself and only speaks in Kaznian or with her old accent- Alex or Lena takes her hand when he starts to smile or smirk at her.

She still wants to kill him. She thinks about it every day.

He says pretty words again. Tells them he wasn’t planning anything now that people see him for ‘what he truly is’.

Lex lives in a delusion of himself- and Kara fears he would drag her down with him.

But she knows who she is. Lena tells her every night. Alex reminds her with every squeeze of her hand. She looks at herself in the mirror- sees the S on her chest and that shows her as well.

She was Kara Zor-El- Kara Danvers. She was from Krypton, but she had chosen Earth as her home. She has family on Argo and she has family on Earth. She was a reporter at CatCo media. She works at the DEO to protect people. She is a daughter, a sister, a friend…

She is Supergirl.

**Author's Note:**

> I know I skipped over a lot of thing with Lena, but I wanted to focus on Kara with Red Daughters memories.  
> I choose Kate to have that conversation because sometimes it people you don’t really know well that help hit a point home. Because when it’s people you love and love you in return, you think they are saying it because they have to, because they are obligated to.  
> I know this wasn’t really two years as the prompt said, but I felt this was something that would make Kara question who she was


End file.
